Posted By: Stephanie
I normally think of myself as a clear thinking person.
I’m not one to dwell on the little things.
I freak out.
I have a camera that I got for my birthday and it stopped working.
I was finally able to get a new one after A LOT of trouble because my dad didn’t have the receipt.
Here we are a month later and it’s not working.
I knew where I put the receipt in my wallet.
I felt one of my freak out episodes coming on.
I go to make sure with my eyes and hands that the receipt is still there so I could stop the feeling.
That’s when it happened.
The freak out.
This is when my blood pressure rises, I’m not mad, just freaking out.
Anxiety hits, something I don’t normally suffer from.
Except in situations when the freak out part of me comes out.
Nothing else matters in my freak out moment, I can only focus on the issue.
I start searching the house high and low, running like I’m in a marathon.
It’s late, Will is sleeping.
I want to run into the bedroom in the most dramatic way possible and flip on the light.
I want to say in a startling voice so he knows it is an emergency that I need help finding the receipt.
Somehow I’m able to fight the urge.
I know it isn’t realistic.
I know that Will losing sleep is in no way going to fix anything.
I know that I need to not follow through with my dramatic entrance.
Fighting the urge is hard, very hard because remember, nothing else matters right now but finding the receipt.
I continue searching.
I found the receipt and the feeling goes away immediately.
I look back and wonder why this feeling ever comes on.
Why do I freak out about small things at times but the large things in life I can be so calm about?
I don’t know the answer to these questions, nor do I think I will figure it out anytime soon.
One thing I do know is, I need a new camera.
This time I have a receipt.
Do you ever have experiences like this one?
Please tell me I'm not the only one.